After so many months of neglecting this blog, I have come back to it, only to find 36 comments in need of moderation. Most of these comments included the word Viagra, and one was related to nude photos of Miley Cyrus. Come on, you spammers, can't you leave that poor girl alone?
I have wondered what to do with this blog, in the same way that I have wondered what to do with my life. The initial purpose of Mermaid Cafe was to keep in touch with my friends after our first move to North Carolina. When my life and my writing became too personal to publish, I abandoned this blog. I have considered a fresh start, with a new name and a new URL. I have considered writing under an alias, and renaming my husband and children to protect their privacy. I have considered not writing at all. None of these options seem right for me at this time, just as nothing in my life seems quite right for me at this time.
The past year has been one of mourning, losing my identity, stretching my boundaries, pushing myself beyond my limit and stretching some more. I have met new challenges and been lonelier than ever before. I was unable to laugh my way through it. I am ready to laugh again. I am ready to find some remnant of myself that I can still recognize and revive it. I am ready to find the lyric to the melodies that fill my head. For awhile, I had lost all my words, and I was living life in a minor key. Today I want to sing.
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2 comments:
Please keep publishing your blog. I am not yet ready to laugh again. Reading your blog, even intermittently over the last year has, at times, given me respite from the relentless darkness.
Dear Woman Who Needs The Mermaid Cafe,
Thank you. I hope your laugh returns soon, and that when you emerge from the darkness, you have a nice pair of sunglasses to help you transition into the light. Much love to you.
Des
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