"Lady Madonna, baby at your breast, wonder how you manage to feed the rest." Paul McCartney

I almost choked on my Allen wrench last week when I read that at the Ikea in Brooklyn, a mother was told by a security guard that she could not do "that" and would have to feed her baby in the bathroom.

I wish I could say I was surprised. I'm not. I was surprised a few years ago when a mother at the Mattituck library was told she could not breastfeed at the library. This mother was at a group for mothers and babies. Since then, I have gotten used to such ignorance.

The Ikea occurrence is a real bummer for me, because I love their inexpensive yet hip furnishings, and have had my eye on a couch, a dresser, and two loft beds.

Ikea is known to be breastfeeding friendly in Europe. I am told they have lactation lounges for their breastfeeding employees. Ikea won accolades from the National Childbirth Trust for its family friendly facilities. In 2006 Ikea was voted the best place in Britain to breastfeed, and breastfeeding mothers were welcomed there for a "Feed-in". They were even consulted on how to make the place even better for breastfeeding.

Why then, was a mother in Brooklyn made to feed her baby in the bathroom? Because this is America, and our country is largely populated by idiots and prudes who can't handle the site of a woman nursing a baby.

Just last week I was in a bar in New York City's West Village with a childless woman of childbearing age. She was telling me about a celebrity that walked into her friend's pub in the middle of the day with two kids in tow. She sat down in a booth, and began to breastfeed her baby. Her friend told this nursing celebrity to leave. She could not "do that" there. The young woman relaying the story was disgusted that someone would breastfeed in public.

The irony here is that we were sitting in the West Village. Have you seen some of the store windows in the West Village? A topless transgendered queen could be walking down the street swinging her girls in the middle of the day, and no one would blink an eye. I've walked by stoops where prostitutes were giving blow jobs right out in the open in New York City,right there on the sidewalk, and I am sure this young woman has walked by similar sites. Yet, it is the site of a breastfeeding mother that appalls her.

I wonder how she will feel when she is dealing with a crying baby, wet stains on the front of her shirt and rock hard breasts. Or, will this be one of those women who "tried to breastfeed, but just could not do it."

I have breastfed in bars.
Yes, I have taken my children into bars.
Why would I do such a thing? When I became a mother, I did not give up my life. I continued to go to restaurants and bars, concerts and plays, church services and movies. Everywhere I went, my babies went. Everywhere they needed to eat, they ate. If someone had a problem with me whipping it out, it was their problem. I am not responsible for their comfort. I am only responsible for the care of my children.

I did consider where I sat when nursing my babies. In church I often took the front row. That way, only the priest, deacon and servers could see me. I did the same thing during my brother's wedding, while sitting right next to my sister who most certainly would not have approved. She did not even notice. I was wearing a nursing dress. It was not very stylish, but it served the purpose.

I have only been asked not to breastfeed on two occasions, shocking considering the frequency with which I nursed in public. Once, at the Amityville Auction House, I was told that the auctioneer found the sight of me nursing distracting, and I was asked to leave. We chose not to spend any more of our money at that place, which was a loss for them as we were loaded in those days and in the process of buying art and furniture for the palace of excess.

The other time I was seating in the bulkhead row on an airline flight to Hawaii. I had fallen asleep with Eden at the breast. When Eden fell asleep, she slid off the breast. There were no other passengers in my row. The flight attendent woke me up and asked me to cover up. I told her we were fine, thanks, and asked her to bring me a drink.

I never breastfed in public to make a political statement or draw attention to myself. In my thirteen years of volunteer work with a national breastfeeding organization, I did not ever meet a mother who breastfed in public for those reasons. I have met mothers who desperately wanted to breastfeed but could not handle the criticism of their own mothers, mothers-in-laws and peers. If we want to have a healthy society, we will support mother and babies, and we will get over our fear of seeing lactating breast do its thing.

Next week is World Breastfeeding Week.
Remember, dear readers, a baby's head is sufficient covering for a breast. Please think about how you would feel if all bottle feeding mothers were told they could not give their babies a bottle in public? Do you like to eat on a public toilet?

I hope Ikea makes an appropriate public apology to this mother. I have a couch to replace.